My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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