so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
