You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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