I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
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3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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