So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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