I could have mohawked her pubes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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