Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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