i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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