Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.

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  (561): My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist. http://tfl.nu/h6i5
  Replies (39) Good night (5261) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.

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  (715): I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed. http://tfl.nu/mebd
  Replies (21) Good night (4550) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66714) Bad night (2999) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.

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  (317): she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know. http://tfl.nu/4052
  Replies (16) Good night (1098) Bad night (5630) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.

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  (973): Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up. http://tfl.nu/7cla
  Replies (23) Good night (4720) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  ...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks

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  (804): ...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks http://tfl.nu/unmu
  Replies (19) Good night (3285) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex

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  (215): I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex http://tfl.nu/v0s4
  Replies (5) Good night (2301) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?

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  (403): I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain? http://tfl.nu/msrw
  Replies (3) Good night (1751) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Can we just ponder our lives for a second.

  (818): View more from California

  No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.

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  (310): Can we just ponder our lives for a second. (818): No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles. http://tfl.nu/vtnc
  Replies (7) Good night (2017) Bad night (703)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.

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  (802): Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too. http://tfl.nu/k5c7
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.

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  (760): I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional. http://tfl.nu/8oha
  Replies (1) Good night (718) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,

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  (970): my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off, http://tfl.nu/5tu5
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (200)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.

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  (757): Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there. http://tfl.nu/k4p8
  Replies (0) Good night (547) Bad night (165) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.

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  (618): There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister. http://tfl.nu/tdo0
  Replies (7) Good night (1257) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.

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  (404): Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become. http://tfl.nu/pcoq
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (164) Order T-Shirt

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