Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house

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(512): My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house http://tfl.nu/7hx1

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Who haven't you slept with?

(703): View more from Virginia

No one comes to mind.

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(202): Who haven't you slept with? (703): No one comes to mind. http://tfl.nu/pw54

Replies (7) Good night (1265) Bad night (517)
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(212): View more from New York

I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.

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(212): I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home. http://tfl.nu/lyh0

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(641): View more from Iowa

she has no idea who harrison ford is.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s

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(641): she has no idea who harrison ford is. (617): see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s http://tfl.nu/0yb7

Replies (52) Good night (565) Bad night (3407)
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(954): View more from Florida

can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?

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(954): can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future? http://tfl.nu/6a5x

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(612): View more from Minnesota

only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.

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(612): only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday. http://tfl.nu/1ia2

Replies (82) Good night (1093) Bad night (4603) Order T-Shirt
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.

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(608): It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table. http://tfl.nu/47ew

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.

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(780): She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile. http://tfl.nu/gnnf

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!

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(814): she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!! http://tfl.nu/3a3w

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.

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(502): Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway. http://tfl.nu/fbtk

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay

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(304): I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay http://tfl.nu/d341

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(618): View more from Illinois

I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.

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(618): I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low. http://tfl.nu/dyuf

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits

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(506): there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits http://tfl.nu/dkmo

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(806): View more from Texas

Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.

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(806): Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times. http://tfl.nu/evhw

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital

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(479): I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital http://tfl.nu/kjdp

Replies (9) Good night (790) Bad night (282)

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