do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize