She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
