She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
