2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize