Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I've blown a few things in my day
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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