shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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