We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
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they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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