I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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