last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants