i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.