Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
