We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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