normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
