STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
