Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Found your dick twin last night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
