i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize