Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
They have beer where we have blood.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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