don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You took a bar mat shot.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
