im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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