this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
