Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
