I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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