She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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