why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
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My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
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You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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