i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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