So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
