Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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