Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize