An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
