Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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