Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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