just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize