nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize