sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
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If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
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All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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