all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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