just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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