Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course