Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh