I CAN MOONWALK!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just jacked off to nostalgia.