Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize