I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.