At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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