cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
