i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
